ordinary, extraordinary.

I breathe to exist. 

And I exist for beauty. 

(beauty of the extraordinary, of the ordinary,

of the divine, of the human experience)

And in those rare & beautiful instances, 

when I open my blind eyes to see,

I discover that even while my trembling knees

fall onto holy ground

I find myself standing in awe

of the extraordinarily, ordinary beauty

of this earthly life. 

And I wonder,

with awe

with excitement

& with hope

how much more will heaven be?

Books & Rings

Wow, it has been FOREVER since I've been on this blog! Needless to say, I have been extremely busy planning a wedding and have thus (unfortunately) been neglecting this blogspot. I kind of wish that I had recorded the whole wedding preparation on the blog, but there's no point on dwelling on those kinds of thoughts! So for now, here's what I've been working on this morning: making a "pillow-book" for my ring bearer. I bought the book from Value Village, found the DIY on a lovely wedding website called Ruffled (http://ruffledblog.com/diy-vintage-book-ring-holder/), and the accents from various thrift stores & Michaels. I love that it has a vintage feel, I got to make it myself, and it only cost me $10!

Isn't it lovely?

simply yours.

I hear the simple melodies
the ones sung by broken hearts,
lost souls begging for mercy
and being covered in exquisite grace.
oh, that a thousand tongues 
would raise their voices to sing
the simplest of all love songs.
your name, your name, your name.
beautiful and pure and adored
and more than enough. 

a masterpiece.

the canvas
on which life is expressed through
splashes of laughter,
streaks of tears,
sprays of anger,
scribbles of tragedy,
and dabbles of love,
remains strangely white. 
the artist's fears of tainting the innocence
and purity of the blank space
prevent the creation of a masterpiece. 
and so, result in
nothingness. 


while the artist continues to 
buy and buy and buy
crisp new brushes and lovely colours
books on technique
and magazines on style
imagining and dreaming,
diligently studying and critiquing
others' masterpieces
but never touching, 
never creating their own.
leaving their canvas 
empty and untouched
meaningless. 


because it takes a courageous person
to begin painting. 
and only the bold 
can finish their masterpieces. 

you are cordially invited...

After an extremely busy weekend, we are FINISHED making the invites! :) Thank goodness!  I definitely could not have done this without my handsome man, my lovely maid of honour, and the best man. Kudos and so many thanks to them for putting up with my orders and crazy artistic antics. I am sooo excited to send these out and to get our RSVPs in. 

a possibility

Music so lovely that it warms my heart and breaks it. 
I want to dance and cry at the same time. 





you placed this promise at my feet
but I need something that I can keep
is it even a possibility

I remember looking at you
wondering if you even knew
so I closed my eyes and counted to ten
was hoping that you would kiss me then
kissing me
is it even a possibility

heart´s been stolen
eyes are swollen
all these words were never spoken
stomach sinking
wishful thinking
wish that you would phone

I wish these fears would disappear
so we could run away from here
is it even a possibility....

lull me to silence

poetic declarations of love

capture the heart's desire to express

(in concrete, unchangeable words)

what it cannot

when the flutter of life

falls into oceans of silence. 

a beautiful story.

I can't stop watching this video, it's so lovely.

and tomorrow is here.

School starts today. 
And since graduating highschool, this will be the third city I've lived in. It's also the third school I've attended, and the third time I'll be a new student. 


They say the third time's a charm. 

good morning, Edmonton

Date: September 4, 2010

Location: Starbucks, Edmonton

Drink: Tazo Green Tea w/peach

Company: my awesome Quest friends Melissa & Jackie!

I'm finally here! I've been nervous, worried, stressed, and so excited about moving here, but now that I'm here, I can honestly say that I am already loving it. My roommate (&best friend!) Jenna, just moved in a couple days ago and it has been WONDERFUL. I'm so glad I have such an awesome friend living with me. Things certainly haven't been that easy moving in here and there's been a lot of stress from trying to figure our issues with power, leading to long, frustrating phone calls with Epcor and now being frustrated with the ridiculous bill they sent even though they were the ones who made the mistakes! But I'm trusting that God will smooth things over and I'm praying that it will happen soon. 

This year marks a definite new chapter in my life. A new school, another new city, and my first year truly on my own, not in a residence, and with my own apartment!
Nervewracking?  
   Yes. 
Exciting? 
   Definitely. 
And to add to my excitement, this will be the LAST DAY that Caleb and I will be doing long distance. Praise God! I am amazed at how God has led us this far and I know I say this in almost every post, but I feel soooo blessed to have Caleb in my life. I can't wait until he arrives in Edmonton today. My life is so full. 

a summer sonnet

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate.
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date.
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimmed;
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance, or nature's changing course, untrimmed;
But thy eternal summer shall not fade,
Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow'st,
Nor shall death brag thou wand'rest in his shade,
When in eternal lines to Time thou grow'st.
So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.
                                  ...//William Shakespeare

...and finally, a word. Or two.

I apologize for how long it has been since my last post! However, in my defense, I will say that it has been an extremely busy time for me and my family. When I arrived back from Korea in May, I was put straight into "mom" mode as my parents left for Enderby and left me in charge of taking care of my grandma, my older cousin, and my younger brother. (My respect and love for my mom has grown ten-fold since!) I am NOT cut out to be a "mom" to a teenage boy, that's for sure... although, I am now well-versed in what to do when your car gets towed and ticketed. Not that I was dying to know or anything!

When my mom came back to Calgary a month afterwards, I thought my life would slow down a little bit, but then, unfortunately, my grandma had an accidental overdose of tylenol which put her into the Intensive Care Unit at Foothills Hospital. It was a big scare for my family as initially, the doctor told us that they were having troubles figuring out what was wrong with her and didn't expect her to make it through the night. The possibility of losing her ended up bringing all my mom's sisters to our home in Calgary and so life became even crazier as we had family from Toronto and Seoul flying in. Thankfully, God has healed my grandma, and after 4 days, she came out of her coma. Her health has been steadily improving and she will hopefully be out of the hospital soon! So thank you for all your prayers and your support =) 

Between work, spending time with family and going back and forth between the Hat &Calgary to see Caleb, life has been HECTIC. But God has been so good to me this summer. Along with the hardships of being a caretaker, juggling work, and the incident with my grandma, God has also given me so much joy. I now know how blessed I am to have such loving parents, who will always take care of me; a supportive boyfriend, who always reminds me to laugh and enjoy life, despite how hard it can be; and dedicated friends, who never fail to lend a listening ear. 

Which brings me to now. After the shock of hearing that Caleb's basement suite in Edmonton blew up from a hash oil extract gone wrong, I am SO THANKFUL that God protected him and Travis by now allowing it to have happened during the school year. It bothers me that they lived with these druggies for a couple months! I've been amazed and challenged by the way Caleb's handled this mess and I feel so proud and blessed to have such a wonderful man in my life, who can be so trusting in the Lord and still find some humour in the worst situations. I'm just glad that he wasn't present for the explosion. However, I have been blessed in Edmonton as I found a sweet deal on an apartment suite for me and my friend, Jenna for September and we're praying that God will provide a new place for Caleb,Travis, and Luke too. 
Life is not slowing down at this point, (I'm also the Music Leader for our church's VBS this week!) but I am feeling less overwhelmed and stressed and I only have you, my wonderful and dedicated friends and family, to thank. So, from the bottom of my heart,  thank you. For your prayers, your thoughts, and your love, I am deeply grateful. I love you guys!

[draft 2: korea]

Things I LOVE about Korea...


             1. the lush, green forests!

          

                                                          
   



                             2. springflowers ♡

3. the Seoul Olympic Park












4. the FOOD: korean bbq, han-shik, seafood, papinsu (pictured below), and the list goes on forever!

                       
 5. traditional architecture

6. the crisscrossing mountain ranges 
(geographically, over 70% of S. Korea consists of upland & mountain ranges while N. Korea is over 80%!)

       

 7. the coast...

8. artsy, cute, little shops










                                                                                          9. ✎ craft & art supplies 

10. korean pride: be the reds (everyone in Korea is already getting so excited for the World Cup in Africa, hopefully we do well!)

[draft 1: korea]

...I love Korea.
When my dad and I initially flew into Seoul ten days ago, I was instantly overwhelmed by the city. It seems to happen every time I come here; the people, the noise, the traffic, the skyscrapers...there's nothing quite like it in Canada that I can compare it to. To be honest, after the first night, I couldn't remember why I had been so excited to be coming here in the first place. It was everything I detested. People are in constant fast forward motion, appearing to be concerned only with their next destination. There's no laidback friendly smiles from strangers, no such thing as giving the 'wave' whilst driving, and people don't open doors for each other, in fact most tend to push and shove to be the first ones through. Small things I realize, but they left big impressions.


The first couple days here, I found myself getting frustrated and upset at what I saw, which only made me realize how little I really understand of Korea and how I will probably never fully understand as a Canadian-Korean. As a visible "foreigner", (despite my Korean background, most Koreans know right off the bat that I'm from the West), I find that I never feel like I quite fit in here. This is so frustrating to me as a 2nd generation Korean. I find that I can't fully be accepted in Korea because of how Canadian I feel (in thought, action, and lifestyle), but I also sometimes feel as though I'm not fully accepted in Canada because of my Korean background, appearance, and my close ties to Korean family & traditions.


It wasn't until my dad and I went out of the city to 설악산 (Sarak San Mt.) that I remembered that I was sooooo incredibly blessed to get the best of both worlds. In the beautiful, green, flowery lush countryside, I was reminded of why I love my heritage and this country. All the hikes we went on were unbelievably gorgeous. I couldn't deny God's awesomeness. We were also blessed on our trip as we met so many interesting people! An older Korean couple from San Fransisco, who had connections with some of our Calgary church members; a young Israeli man who was exploring Korea on his own without knowing a word of Korean; and the coffee shop 아저씨, who was a professional rock climber that shared with us so many delicious free drinks and his crazy stories...all in exchange for a short tutorial on english!


Here, I was reminded of Korea's generosity & hospitality. The fierce loyalty and dedication to culture, the exotic landscape of florals and greens, and the rootedness in tradition reminded me of why I love Korea. This is Korea to me; not the busy streets, the crowded malls, and the 9 different levels of the subway. (The poli-sci major in me argues that this is purely a product of capitalism...) I realize that the city is part of the make-up of what Korea is today, but I've found that Korea is so much more than what I first saw on the surface. There is so much depth and history in this culture and I'm so excited to learn more about it & come to a deeper appreciation of it!


*pictures coming soon!*

4:27...and counting

It's come to my realization that I haven't blogged in quite a long time. So naturally, the right thing for me to do would be to wake up at 4:27 in the morning the day of my birthday and post something, right? For some  reason, sleep has escaped me the entire night. I didn't get to bed until 1:30, after having a drinks and appy night with my family, and I've been waking up every hour. So I've been enjoying the quiet of the house, reading Scripture, listening to classical cello, and wondering why I feel so calm and at peace at this ridiculous hour instead of being exhausted out of my mind. 

I've been reflecting on this past year, and I can't believe at how incredibly blessed I am. God has moved in so many amazing ways. Thinking of the countless tiny steps that have led up to this moment now, I am awed by His goodness and faithfulness. It's hard to believe that this time last year, I was finishing my hike in the Himalayas and falling for the most amazing man that I know. By the end of India, my life was headed in a completely new and different direction than it had been before Quest. I have received blessing after blessing this year. Living at Menno has given me another beautiful community, meaningful friendships, and lasting memories. My life in Vancouver was full of excitement, adventure, food, learning, and growing. I loved it. 
And now, I'm embarking on another journey and entering a new chapter of my life.
I'll be honest, I'm terrified to not be going back to Vancouver. 
But I'm still unbelievably excited to be moving to Edmonton. 

I feel as though the last 5 years of my life have been cycles of moving: a decision, packing, saying goodbye, traveling, arriving, unpacking, planting new roots, nurturing new relationships, memories, change. More packing, another goodbye, tears, excitement, hope, and a new destination.

I'm excited to see what God has in store for my 20th year and where He'll lead me. And to wrap this birthday post up, this is my prayer for the year... 
[came to my rescue: hillsong]

Falling on my knees in worship, 

Giving all I am to seek your face. 

Lord, all I am is yours.

I called, you answered.

And you came to my rescue, 

And I want to be where you are.

My whole life I place in your hands.

God of mercy, humbled I bow down, 

In your presence at your throne.

In my life be lifted high.

In our world, be lifted high. 

In our love, be lifted high. 

Love Your City

     I [ L O V E ] MY CITY.

  1. cherry blossoms  2. jericho beach  3. salts  4. crown st.